One of the most rewarding parts of homeschooling is when I receive questions about it from curious moms. If I had a nickel for each time I was asked about it this past year alone, I would probably be… well, not rich but at least able to buy myself a new outfit. I have been fortunate that most of them came from a place of genuine curiosity, from other mamas who have thought about dipping their toe in the home education pool.
The most recent question I received was: are there days that you feel like you need a break? Now, this may seem like a rather silly question at face value, but I really believe this person might actually think I love to spend 24-7 with my children. And there really are some women out there who begin homeschooling initially because they truly enjoy being with their kids all the time.
Do I have days when I feel like I need a break? I can answer that with an emphatic yes! And all the homeschooling moms said, “Amen”. 🙂
Yesterday was one such day in fact, where I felt that I might actually lose my mind. Thank goodness for the hubs coming to my rescue, and whisking us away to a restaurant so I didn’t need to worry about cooking dinner (which hadn’t yet been started at 5:45). It wasn’t a vacation in the Bahamas, but it was just enough of a break where I could regroup and then regain my motivation to tackle that mountain of laundry before bedtime.
Even Jesus needed breaks from time to time during His earthly ministry. After pouring into people’s lives day in and day out, He withdrew to pray and be renewed.
We cannot give what we don’t have. Even if we can’t get away from the house by ourselves, we should at least be able to sneak away to the bathroom for a few minutes or put on a movie for the kids (yes I said it) so we can recharge by praying, calling a friend, or reading a magazine.
There was a time not so long ago, however, when I felt like I needed a break all the time. The thought of spending practically all of my waking hours with my children was overwhelming. 3 1/2 years ago, I was the mom selling her husband on the idea of sending our just turned four-year-old to preschool because I felt I desperately needed many breaks. It had been a difficult year adjusting to having two children. I spent most of my days feeling completely at my wits end, dealing with a very needy infant who refused to nap during the day and suffered from chronic acid reflux, and a toddler who reacted badly to getting the short end of his mother’s attention.
Even on good days, it was difficult to find enjoyment from simply being with both my children. I was also at a complete loss as to how to bridge that growing gap between myself and my son, who I struggled to relate to.
The surprising byproduct of homeschooling is that it pushed me to be intentional about creating quality time with my kids. Our mornings weren’t rushed trying to get my son off to school and then running to a play group with my daughter. Homeschooling made me slow down and really focus on both of my children. And the more time we spent together, the more I genuinely enjoyed it and them too!
I’ve been able to step back into my son’s world, so to speak, and connect with him on his level. Together, we have wrestled through decoding words, studied scripture, traveled back in time to ancient lands, visited fascinating places around the globe, and created some pretty cool projects. I would have missed out on so many memories if he had been away at school all day.
While it is sometimes not super fun spending 24/7 with my children, I do get a pretty sweet trade off. It’s amazing to listen to my son read the Bible during our morning devotions, and devour a stack of library books in the afternoon. It doesn’t get much better than seeing him help his little sister write her numbers or the two of them play together in between subjects, either. All the discussing, observing, creating, and designing that takes place here on a daily basis would be missed.
This is what I keep coming back to on those days when I get anxious that the housework and laundry is piling up, or when I miss being able to go shopping with only my daughter in tow. A cleaner house and more me time stacked against priceless memories with my children seems awfully dull in comparison. Our kids are only this young and impressionable for a relatively short amount of time, and we are privileged as their moms to make the kind of impact on them during it that only we can.
I love this! I really enjoyed seeing things from your perspective…I always worry about not being one of those moms who could handle homeschooling, but I see the benefits are worth it! Luckily, my children are not there yet, and I still have time to think, and prepare. 🙂
I actually felt this way this week. Each day I felt overwhelmed and like I needed a break. Well, realistically that’s not going to happen for awhile. I was even looking at schools to send my daughter. But this morning I got up we at breakfast, did our daily lesson, and played. Suddenly I didn’t feel overwhelmed. I felt accomplished bc my kids were loved and nutured. Of course I’ll still take that break but now it doesn’t feel so urgent. Great post.
I really admire homeschooling. We tried a K12 program out for my 9 yr and he felt like it was more work and he really missed friends. I loved the laid back feel of our mornings but my toddler made it difficult for me to concentrate on helping my son. I really loved that we were able to travel but it just was not a good fit for our family. I would probably be more apt to try again if I didn’t have to work. *sigh*
My son suffered the brunt of my ten thousand experiments before we finally pulled him out of school and started homeschooling. And I identify with your post so much! Yes, sometimes it’s like I don’t get a single second of a break, especially when I need it desperately, but on most days, having fun, learning and playing together trumps it all. I love that our mornings are not rushed and the constant academic pressure of measuring success by grades is gone. The sentence “The surprising byproduct of homeschooling is that it pushed me to be intentional about creating quality time with my kids.” sums it all up for me 🙂
I am totally with you Marrisa! Today was one of those days when I really needed a break! I had some mommy dates planned this week but some of the kids were sick and I wasn’t able to get them. I know though that I will soon and even though my kids drive me crazy I really wouldn’t want a break from them permanently;)
I am still at the place where I struggle with this. Being completely honest here 😉 I covet our little afternoon rest times, and when Daddy comes home. God is still working in me though. I am learning to relax more with the kids, and simply enjoy their company.
Thanks so much for sharing 🙂
I am in my 22nd year of homeschooling. In the early years I found that I needed much more “me time” – time away from everyone including my husband. My favorite thing to do alone was go to the bookstore and just browse. I went about once a week. Now things have shifted and when I do feel like I need to get away I want my husband to go with me. I feel as I age I need less and less time away from my family. Maybe it is because with 2 sons married, I want to hold onto the time I have left with the ones left. It is funny how time changes your perspective.
Isn’t it funny how when you have kids, dinner can be a vacation? I love it! We all need a break. I remember when my son was little, a bunch of Mom’s would get together at the park and let the kids play and then have some grown up time (while watching the kids, of course). Even that was fun! #HomeMattersParty
I have been on the fence about homeschooling. My daughter will be four this year, so I have been on the look out for ideas and topics that I can do with her now. My husband’s days off are Mondays and Tuesdays-I usually get some time out to myself (grocery shopping, shopping for the home or girls). I am so happy that I have found a new church home and there is childcare while women fellowship together. Yes Amen for having a break! #HomeMattersParty
It will take years for me to get there but I completely understand what you say regarding “having a break” as I have heard about this from my mommy friends.
It’s an important topic that I’m sure many mothers will benefit from. Thank you so much for writing about it. #HomeMattersParty
I so appreciate your honesty in this post. I tip my hat to homeschooling Moms & Moms in general-it is the most difficult job, but also the most rewarding! #HomeMattersParty
I think every parent needs a break to recharge from their kids. I feel this is especially true with mothers. My husband does try to ensure that I get time alone as much as possible. I value that time alone. However, I also treasure the fact that I do get to homeschool my kids and spend loads of quality time with them as a result.
A break is a definite necessity at times. You can’t be your best mother, if you aren’t taking care of yourself, whether you homeschool or not. Thanks for sharing and being a wonderful co-host of the #HomeMattersParty – we love having you on the team! 🙂
~Lorelai
Life With Lorelai
This was beautiful! I don’t get alone time that often because while my twins are at school, I still have 3 young ones at home. I’ve never considered homeschooling but I sure do miss my other boys so much when they are at school.