Stop Looking For What You Already Have as a Mama

Reflecting back on Mother’s Day yesterday, maybe it didn’t live up to your expectations. Maybe you didn’t receive the pampering from your hubby, or the showers of adoration and appreciation from your kids that you feel you deserve. And maybe those disappointments began to sink deep down and bitterness started to take root in your heart. “Seriously?” you begin to think, “After all I’ve done for them…”

Perhaps you did get the special treatment from your family on your special day. Your children made you thoughtful, homemade gifts and brought you breakfast in bed. Your husband may have gone out of his way to fold the laundry or wash dishes, along with taking you out for a nice lunch. “Wow,” you begin to think, “I must be a great mom and wife to receive all this attention!”

The truth is that the real gifts of Mother’s Day are the ones you’ve already received. The ones you get to “unwrap” and enjoy each day of the year. Take a look at your kids. No- I mean really take a good, long look. Sure, they may not feel like blessings all of the time, but they are. Ones that another woman would give anything for. There is a woman right now who is struggling with infertility or that has experienced the loss of a child, who would gladly trade places with you.

Something I wrote in my journal three years ago still very much applies today:

This year on Mother’s Day, I didn’t get breakfast in bed. Instead, I got my preschooler snuggling into bed with me and my husband at 6:45 that morning. As I kissed his cheek and put my arm around him, he said “Happy Mother’s Day!” and told me excitedly that he had made a card for me the night before with Daddy’s help.  

This past Sunday, I didn’t get pampered. Instead, I got a huge smile from my daughter that was meant only for me as I lifted her out of the crib. There was no parade held in my honor, no declarations about how much I do for our family. Just quiet undertones of recognition from my children, found in their giggles, laughter, and hugs.  

Gentle reminders that I am blessed to be not just a mom, but their mom.

Two days before, I attended a Mother’s Day Tea at my son’s school. The children sang songs and we were treated to a special snack that they helped make. Then all the moms were invited to take a look at the bulletin board in the back of the room, where the teacher had written what each child appreciated about their mom the most on construction paper flowers.  

Colton’s read, “She plays and does games with me”. He could have chosen a million different things to say, but that’s what stuck out in his mind the most. It was an acknowledgment of the time and energy I invest in him daily. When it’s not convenient. When I am exhausted.  When no one else sees. When it seems fruitless.  

There are many days that I wonder if what I’m doing really makes any difference at all.  Sometimes all those menial, monotonous tasks and hours spent in child’s play don’t appear to have lasting value.  They might not seem like much to the world, but I know that they matter greatly to at least two people. Two beautiful, precious kids that God has given me to mother.  

And that is not just something. It is everything.

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