As Christian parents we often live in the tension between protecting our children from secular influences, yet not wanting to shelter them so much that they can’t live out in the “real world”. We either end up parenting out of fear and legalism, or going to the opposite extreme of allowing our children to be submerged in a worldly culture before their faith has fully matured.
Charles Spurgeon once said children must be well fed or instructed, because they are in danger of having their cravings perversely satisfied with error. In a nutshell, youth are susceptible to false doctrine.
Kids are vulnerable to being corrupted when they are exposed repeatedly to anti-biblical influences (1 Corinthians 15:33). Their minds are like sponges; they soak up information without filtering out the “bad stuff”.
All that they take in shapes their view of the world uncritically and informally. This means they don’t realize or recognize when and how these views are being formed.
There are two main pipelines that feed humanist values to our children today: secular entertainment and secular education.
Some types of entertainment take on forms which, on the surface, appear innocuous. What could be so wrong with Nickelodeon and Disney shows and movies? They’re catered to kids, after all.
Well, like with anything, not all of some thing is bad. However, as a general rule we do not allow our kids to read or watch media which portrays children as disrespectful to their parents and fathers who are incapable of doing anything other than provide financially. These themes are pretty subtle, but they ultimately undermine the family unit.
We also do not allow our kids to watch or read media where the protaganist practices magic, or that portrays magic as morally neutral. Now, Princess Sofia and Harry Potter are innocent, likeable characters, so why is this a problem?
It’s precisely because they appear likeable and relatable which makes them so dangerous. Our children are much more likely to emulate and relate with these types of characters than the obviously evil ones, which creates the potential to also follow their interest in things of the occult.
In our home, we pretty much only listen to uplifting music. I’ll have worship songs from Pandora playing in the background during the day, and we’ll listen to the Christian radio stations in the car.
Giving up listening to country music with the kids around was hard; I’m not gonna lie. But it was a sacrifice worth making. Most of the lyrics in those songs contain certain innuendos that aren’t appropriate for little ears, and they don’t point them any closer to Jesus.
We choose not to have our kids educated in an environment that is decidedly secular, because our influence over what they see, hear, or read is greatly diminished. If they are away from us for 6 hours a day, 5 days of the week, their most powerful influences become their teacher and peers. We know we can’t compete with that.
Just to be generous, if parents spend 30 minutes a day year-round teaching their child from the Bible, plus the child receives 1 hour per week in Sunday school, that would equal only 2,366 hours to try to counteract the 14,000 which they spend in a secular school.
Whoever has the child’s heart will be the one discipling them. Jesus says in Luke 6:40 that “a pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher.”
We believe our kids should be in a place where the name of God is continually magnified and praised, through every subject they learn. Each one should be continually directing them to His sovereignty and lordship.
Children’s hearts need to be “greenhoused” until they develop deep roots in faith, before they’re ready to be transplanted out into the world.
A young child is not capable of rejecting anti-biblical notions on his or her own, because they have not formed critical thinking skills yet. Ephesians 4:14 says, “… We are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine…”
We should wait on sending them of the nest until they’re strong, well equipped and well established in their faith, otherwise they are very likely to have that faith killed off. They need many years of being trained how to handle and apply the Word of God.
Our kids shouldn’t grow up in a bubble either, but rather, only be exposed to false teachings enough that they will be inoculated against them.
The idea is to engage them in learning about different cultures, religions and worldviews while they are under our protection. They need to know and understand the beliefs and viewpoints of other people so they can realize the challenges that these present to their faith.
We should be proactive in engaging our kids in discussing answers from a biblical worldview, so they will “be ready to make a defense to everyone who asks them to give an account for the hope that is in them, yet with gentleness and respect” (1 Peter 3:15).
As Christian parents, we want to prepare our children to appropriately respond to the world’s questions, and often harsh criticisms, about Christianity. Churches, by and large, are not equipping children with apologetics in regular Sunday school classes.
It is our job to not only teach our kids the core beliefs of our faith, but to educate them how to defend those beliefs as well.
We are not merely sheltering our children from negative influences by avoiding certain media and teachings, but also shepherding their hearts. Through our discipleship and training, our kids will be prepared to launch from our homes as arrows aimed at the kingdom of darkness!
Great article! My husband and I agree with alot of your ideas. I think doing a lot of sheltering is great along side us as parents being open and talking from a Christian perspective of what the world thinks of things and show them the right ways. So then when they are of age they aren’t naive, but can still have a good innocence?
Yes, shielding our kids while openly talking about everything from a biblical worldview is key. So often sheltering is seen as a bad thing. Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting, Bree!
This is so good! A student will indeed become like his/her teacher. That’s why it’s so important to make sure that our kids are learning from sources that point them to God and their value in Him. Thank you for sharing this!
Thanks Alyssa! Yes, there are so many other things vying for our kids’ hearts and attention these days.
Wow! When you said “Children’s hearts need to be “greenhoused” until they develop deep roots in faith, before they’re ready to be transplanted out into the world”. This was such a profound statement. You know this is something I struggle with. I must admit though I’ve become so relaxed about what I expose my kids to (mainly cartoons). I really used to be choosy but lately I’ve been letting them watch things I didn’t used to. Well, I noticed a change in my daughters behavior and so put a stop to it. I think you are so right, and this post really snapped me back into reality.
Good for you, Nikki, for recognizing that the shows were contributing to her behavior. It can be so hard to make these little changes, but what a big difference they make! I’m so glad the post encouraged you. 🙂
This was a really good article! I love your click to tweet comment. We have to raise them right, so that they can stand up for themselves and not be led astray later in life.
Thanks Rachel! The earlier in their lives we plant those seeds of faith and water them, the more likely they will be able to stand up for that faith as they get older.
This is excellent! This is the same reason we’re homeschooling. And as my two oldest are teens now, I can see the benefit of our decision. 🙂
Thank you Leah! It is so encouraging to know that you see the positive outcomes of homeschooling in your oldest children.
I could not agree with this more!!!! People look at sheltering kids as bad, but it’s more of protecting thing than sheltering. Protecting our children is our job as parents!
Exactly, Hannah! Protecting our kids IS our job, but the culture tells us we’re actually bad parents if we don’t let them experience all sorts of awful stuff. It’s so backwards!
Thank you so much for this post! It paints an excellent picture of that wonderful line that is hard, yet good and wise, that we try to cultivate in our children as well! (My feelings exactly with Disney 😉 What an amazing blog you have. Keep doing what you are doing!
For His Glory,
Lee
Wow, thank you Lee! I’m very glad it resonated with you. Yes, the list of approved Disney shows & movies grows shorter every day. I was shocked one morning while my kids watched Disney Jr. and a clip with the fairies from Tinker Bell came on with a voiceover that said, “Fairies created the different seasons…”
It’s good to see other mothers believe the same way I do. This is so uplifting. Thank you for sharing. Your words have encouraged me to keep my goal in mind and follow what God has placed on my heart for my children and my family.
You are so welcome, Sara! Keep following that vision He gave you, despite what the world says. 🙂
Wow, I love your heart behind writing this. Currently I have a 1 year old and am pregnant with our second (Lord, help me! Lol), so these topics have been on my mind lately. I agree so much with your insight about Harry Potter, etc., but my hubby doesn’t quite agree with me about it. Prayers for me about that would be so appreciated! I want us to be united in every thing, especially in regards to the kids.
I also love your blog! You and I have a lot of the same ideas about Christian parenting and I’m excited to keep learning from a mama a little ahead in the game. 😉 Currently I’m very passionate about breastfeeding, postpartum depression and raising our kids in a society that forces adult ideas into their innocent little minds (transgenderism, homosexuality, etc.).
BTW, I love your comment about ”moving laundry around” on your About Me page. LOL, that’s exactly what I do! 😉 Keep up the good work, Mama! <3
Thank you for your encouragement, Tiffany! It’s so good to see a young mom pursuing a biblical definition of parenting and motherhood. I will definitely be praying you and your husband to be united on some of those controversial issues. 🙂
Marisa, you have given me a lot of food for thought in this post. Thank you for sharing! I will be praying about changes I may need to take with my boys.
I am so glad it resonated with you, Christina! I’ll be praying for you as you consider those decisions. 🙂
I like the fact that this article is not prescriptive in a vague way but concretely illustrates the necessity and means of sheltering one’s children. Think the theme of the article is highly imperative with the way the world is going now and all the hostility towards Christianity. Shared it on my Fb page. God bless you!
Thank you for your kind words, Edith! I hoped the post came across the way I intended. Thanks so much for sharing it with others on Facebook. 🙂
My wife sent me a link to this… I’m probably the only man commenting. Still, I think this specific point is totally about parenting in general, not just mothering.
I’m not sure I agree, although it’s good to meditate on it. I think there are factors that mitigate this problem, and I’m talking from personal experience. Besides the fact that the Spirit also protects the kids, there is the fact that personality plays a huge role in how a kid reacts to external influences. In my case, I remember discarding teacher’s (anti Christian) opinions at a very young age, in second or third grade -I specifically remember thinking a teacher was wrong when she said being a prostitute is a job like any other, and I didn’t even understand what a prostitute was, back then, but I knew what she was saying was wrong and against what I believed.
I also never felt like doing drugs even if everybody else in high school was doing it. Our parents had former addicts who had become Christians talk to us about the huge danger of drugs when we were young.
I’m not sure, maybe most kids are not feisty like that. I have the feeling my kids will be like that, too, they are not afraid of fighting an adult -and they are very, extremely young. Maybe expert opinion from a Christian psychologist would help. I think that wanting to please others is an important factor, too, and therefore we should also make sure our kids have a healthy self-esteem.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I welcome comments from dads too, as many of my posts are on topics related to parenting. 🙂 First of all, you are right that the Spirit acts to protect children and that a child’s personality can factor into how they process external influences. However, today’s education system has a huge impact on shaping the worldview of students, and kids often spend more waking hours in schools than at home. Many have their faith challenged there before they are ready to defend it. They also face immense peer pressure, regardless of whether they have healthy self-esteem. As parents we need to take the statistics seriously that over 50% of young people walk away from the faith when they leave home. We have to consider the input of steady secular values and philosophies into their heads over the course of 12 years. There are no guarantees of course, but if we are intentional about building a strong biblical worldview foundation and preparing our kids to defend their beliefs at home, before they are thoroughly immersed in a toxic student culture, they have a much better chance of keeping their faith.
I completely agree and wrote on this awhile ago, about keeping our kids home for their foundation years to equip them: http://www.thelifeofthismother.com/2016/05/the-foundation-years-letting-my-kids.html
It’s only been in the last year or two that I have been thinking like this. Before, since I have had every form of education but homeschooling, I was very pro-public school. I am still for kids – but, not until they are ready. Not until they are strong in their faith {God-willing} and able to have an answer for what they believe, as well as being able to filter and discern the hidden messages around them.
You brought up a lot of great points in that post, Sarah! I loved this quote, “Our community and society can have them one day, but not yet.” I didn’t always think it was better to homeschool my kids, but I was definitely wary of what public schools were teaching. The more research I did into the history of the American education system, I knew it definitely wasn’t an option for us. The book I wrote, Bucking The System, contains all of those findings, plus tips for getting started homeschooling!
https://www.amazon.com/Bucking-System-Reclaiming-Children%E2%80%99s-Christ/dp/0692620206/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1472648623&sr=8-1&keywords=Marisa+Boonstra